I’ve attempted to publish my first newsletter for 2024 more times than I can count. It’s a cycle that is familiar to me now, one that I have trouble breaking free from.
This year, I am dedicated to changing that. I’ve written about my struggles with writing before (here and here). Despite trying to convince myself that they are just words on a page, the beliefs that I have formed about writing over the years have formed deep and sturdy roots, and have proven very difficult to break free from. The strategies I’ve used in the past haven’t worked. So this year, I’m trying new things.
I am committed to no longer letting fear win. Not just with my writing, but in all aspects of my life. I will no longer allow the anxiety that constantly bubbles below the surface, threatening to explode and consume me at any moment, stop me from doing the thing that I want to do. I am tired of letting it run my life.
I want to be a writer. There’s no guarantee I’ll be a very good one, but waiting until I’m ‘good enough’ is no longer an option. I want to use my finite time well.
Inspired by
, I decided to create an artist manifest- a set of guiding principals for my creative practice.Below is my commitment to this newsletter and this small community. It is a commitment to myself and to breaking free of the shackles that have kept me from living the life I want to live.
I create time and space every day for writing
As Oliver Burkeman- the modern king of time management- likes to remind us, you need to create time for the things that are important to you. Writing is something I do when I have time, but it is the first thing to go when I don’t. By failing to write regularly I have been unable to use momentum to my advantage. I have wasted precious energy in a stop/start cycle. This year, I commit to consistency. I commit to habit-building. I commit to prioritising my creative practice and accept that this will mean saying no to other things. I commit to showing up for myself every day and showing myself that I am deserving of enjoyment.
I share this writing every week, no matter what
I don’t have a great history with deadlines. I’ve read a lot of things over the last few years convincing me that I don’t need them- that I’m falling into a capitalist trap and doing myself a disservice if I become a slave to deadlines. That I’m not respecting my energy levels. I don’t entirely disagree with these sentiments. However, over the years, I’ve spent more energy coming up with increasingly sophisticated reasons for why I shouldn’t impose deadlines on myself than I have on actually doing anything. This would be okay if I wasn’t then sitting around complaining about the different projects in my life not going the way I want them to.
Excuses are excuses, no matter how much I intellectualise them, I’ve made these excuses not because I don’t want to write, but because I’ve been afraid to. I’ve let myself off the hook too easily. So this year, I commit to doing the scary thing. I am committing to publishing every Tuesday, no matter what. I’m risking publishing pieces that aren’t perfect. I’m risking not having anything to say, and still trying to say something anyway. I’m risking saying the wrong thing and dealing with the fallout. I’m risking being boring, unoriginal, uninspiring, and unsophisticated. I commit to showing up regardless.
I don’t need any more plans or advice. I have everything I need already.
When I sit down to write, I am going to write. I don’t need to read another book, watch another video, or read another article about how I should go about it. It’s not that I don’t value advice, or think there is a place for it, but I’ve accepted that no amount of planning guarantees success. I have consumed enough self-help content for a lifetime, and it’s left me paralysed by overwhelm. No matter how I dress it up, no matter how complex my methods are, I’m still doing what I’ve done my whole life when faced with something that makes me anxious- I’m procrastinating. In order to move forward, I commit to facing the fear that I’m doing it wrong by doing it anyway. I commit to trusting myself more and abandoning the need to seek reassurance that my work is enough, and by extension, that I am enough.
I am me and there is only one of me. Embrace your uniqueness.
It can be hard to start a creative practice when there are more people to compare ourselves to than ever before. I am never going to be the best at this, not even close. But that doesn’t mean what I have to say is any less valuable. I am the only person in the world with my unique history, connections, places, body, and mind. No one else is like me, and no one else will ever be again. That is amazing! This year I commit to recognising my value. To embracing the uniqueness of my life and no longer contorting myself to the ways of others. I commit to sharing things that bring me comfort and joy, and not what I think is expected of me.
I face the messiness of creativity. I face the uncertainty with courage.
Perfection does not exist.
No one is immune from criticism.
Dedication and hard work never guarantee success.
I know this and commit to creating things anyway. I commit to being gracious with myself and having compassion when I make a mistake. I accept the fact that I might never produce anything of value to someone else, and yet still do it anyway. I teach myself through trying over and over again that failure is not as unsafe as I believe it to be.
And with that, I launch this newsletter into new territory. I hope you enjoy the ride!
Lou x
How are you turning up for yourself this year? Have you put anything in place to ensure that you do? I would love to hear from you!
I signed up for Gretchen Rubin's Write 24 in 24, either 2-4 minutes or 24 minutes every day. It has kept me accountable. And once I start writing, it is easy to fill the 24 minutes and more. She is the best-selling author of books on habits and happiness.
https://gretchenrubin.com/resource/write-24-in-2024/
Happier by Gretchen Rubin (a podcast) does a yearly challenge and this year it’s 2-4 or 24 minutes of writing a day! She’s got a habit tracker for free on her website, thought it might be helpful for you 💚